I got platyhelmenthes, the flat worm.

Originally identified by the ancient Babylonians, platyhelmenthes represents a single neuron life. Most of your activities are guided by chemotaxis, the attraction to low grade, usually chemical, stimuli, and the concentration of non-sentient drama in the unexamined life. Ancient sailors used platyhelmenthes to guide them to no place in particular, and it allows you to drift aimlessly in the doldrums of your college roommate’s spare bedroom, where your inability to move forward could be justified by watching Dancing with the Stars, but not really. In approximately 2500 BC, platyhelmenthes was eliminated from the zodiac, when they realized it was only a result of a bad calculation, that they kept repeating. Kind of like that guy you woke up with. Again. You are most compatible with the Blue Ball Lizard, which stormed out of the zodiac, in 2433BC, after being told what blue ball actually means. your lucky number is 555-2143. but you knew that, already.