Tag Archives: loss

Poetry, This work copyright 2014 Thomas Kreek, Trigger warning

Drunk Texting

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Yeah, I know. I drunk texted you every couple weeks, since that day 6 years ago. The words made no sense to me when I sobered up, but that didn’t last long. I know I pocket dialed you, at least a dozen times, because yours is the only number on my favorites list, and sometimes I look at your picture and I read the address, and think of better days.
Always, you have the grace to ignore them. Always, you have the sense not to reply.

But now the world is drunk texting me, and I don’t understand. Crazy messages that make no sense. A lead rainstorm in her gymnasium. A hidden fortress in a home room coat closet. Counting children from too many to too many more.

Please. This one time. Please respond and tell me that someday, she will grow up to ignore my messages, too. Tell me she will grow up at all.

Poetry, This work copyright 2014 Thomas Kreek

Hospital corners

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Hospital corners still in his nightmares.
Crisp white sheets folded with precision.
scent of sanitizer.
Single flower petal, under the table.
Card that says “I love you”, stranded on the top shelf of the closet.
He remembers the empty room, that was once so crowded with family and tears and prayers.

But now it is not empty.
Someone new.
No family.
No tears.
Torn coat.
Detox.
Hospital corners, now a respite from the cold rain.
A safe place for tonight.

And he doesn’t think to say another prayer.

Poetry, This work copyright 2014 Thomas Kreek

The Tie

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He was folding the thin end of the gold and auburn, autumn themed silk tie over the wider end, just above the second button. The collar button was still open, because his neck had grown slightly larger than the shirt would comfortably allow. He was excited about the dinner engagement, tonight. Maybe, it’s a little early to dip his toe back in the romantic waters, but somehow he felt ready.

Ever since Chuck had left three weeks ago, he felt the sense of elation and freedom. Though they had been together for four years, the flames had turned to embers, and the embers turned to ash. By the time the decision was made, it was clear to both that things between them had been over for a long time. The surprise to him was that Chuck called it first.

Now, he felt like a kid again. All those things he wanted to do, but felt responsible to stay home with Chuck instead, were now available to him. Shows he wanted to see, men he wanted to date, men he wanted to fuck, all out there, and now, so was he.

Tonight’s dinner with Alex, was a bit of a surprise too. They met in line at the local burger slam, both with a bit of shame for even being there, and they shared a meal of burgers and fries, giggling helplessly, telling childhood fart jokes and stories of crazy relatives.

They agreed to do dinner together, as a kind of dress-up special night. It was something neither had done in years. “Suit and tie,” Alex had said, “Bring on the good stuff.” He actually wasn’t sure where they were going, but his excitement made his fingers shake a little.

As he restarted the knot for the third time, he thought about dates like tonight and some of the guys he’d met online, that he hoped to get together with. Amazingly some very hot men lived not very far from him. He realized how much the closeness of his close dependence on Chuck blinded him to the beauty of the world around, and now, it was his to savor.

He looked in the mirror expecting to be proud and ready to face this world of many wonders, but still, the knot was crooked. The excited shaking in his hands became a tremor.

“But, who will tie my tie?”