I saw a boy on a train, hopping on at a grade crossing and hauling himself into a car full of boxes and straw, and the smell of livestock not quite gone. His eyes full of sparkles and mischief. Barely a beard, belied his 20 years. His body short and graceful and gangly at the same time. A puppy on a tile floor.

I heard a boy on a train tell stories of times and places, and of people, passionate and curious and with a joy of connection. I wanted to be him, to share the thrill of exploration, and curiosity and passion for who they really are. I wanted to be them, to have a friend so open to who I am as to be able to search for my own answers.

I watched a boy on a train. All charm. open ears, open smile and open heart. He had a story he needed to hear or to create. He leaned into his fellow riders, “let’s try it,” “explore with me,” and “tell me more.”

I sat with a boy on a train. Both going in the same direction, but it still took time to realize that. We shared breathless stories and restless dreams. “As long as we keep moving,” he said, “It’ll be alright.” I think I agree.

I held a boy on a train. Shared tears, so much cheaper than cocktails and so much more precious. That’s a toast I don’t share with strangers, so I guess that makes him a friend.

I smelled a boy on a train. Scavenged cigarettes, beer, weed, his leather backpack, his natural scent, unmarred by the pretension of fragrance. He made me lean in and breathe him, igniting my passion.

I kissed a boy on a train. The flirtation too much for both of us, and the possibilities too divine, the pleasure too intense. That’s a step I didn’t think I’d take so soon, but it seemed so natural.

I loved a boy on a train. Curious and laughing and smiling and looking in each other’s eyes and finding new ways to explore each other. Touching and tasting and taking. And, hey, we are on the same train after all.

I left a boy on a train. Life has its way and journeys diverge. Each to his own calling, drawn by his own muses. I know I’ll want him and miss him, but I have to go where I have to go. We’ll follow our own paths into the world.

Besides, as long as I keep moving, it’ll be alright.